Are you a guilty feminist?

By Sayali

“I believe in equal rights… but I also like wearing makeup and watching ‘The Notebook.’”

Sound familiar?

Have you ever said this (or something similar) and had the following thought: “Am I a bad feminist?”

If you have, you’re not alone.

More and more women ask, “Am I a guilty feminist?” It's not because they don't believe in equality but because they've been led to believe that enjoying anything traditionally feminine or not agreeing with the popular opinion makes their feminist beliefs less valid (spoiler alert: it doesn't).

Are you a guilty feminist? Or is it possible that this term is a lie?

Guilty feminism isn't about hypocrisy; it's about pressure. There is pressure to embody the ideal feminist. If you fall short, you feel guilty, like you’ve let the team down.

Now, would you like to hear a very popular myth? The myth of the perfect feminist. They are expected to know everything about the women’s movement, speak out at every debate, never enjoy anything mainstream, never enjoy dressing up, and never, ever in her life, conform to a stereotype. 

Sounds exhausting? It is.

Would you like to hear a shocker? You don't get invalidated for liking things other feminists don't. So, it's okay if you enjoy rom-coms, make-up, or cooking and cleaning. It does not mean that you can't enjoy robotics, boxing, hunting, or motorcycling. Or if you're still figuring out what feminism means to you, because none of that makes you any less feminist. It doesn't make you guilty; it makes you human.

The truth is that feminism is not about personal preference—it's about systematic fairness.

You can love lip gloss and liberation. Want equal pay and dream about being a homemaker. None of these things cancel out your beliefs.

The problem isn't femininity—it's the idea that being feminine is demeaning or lesser. And this idea makes women feel guilty for enjoying things labeled “girly” or “superficial.” It rebrands the same old shame in brand-new packaging.

But let's talk about something that doesn't get talked about enough: the fact that feminist is, more often than not, used as an insult. “She's one of those feminists,” “She's too angry,” “She hates men,” “She's so dramatic,” “She's trying too hard.” Sound familiar? Feminism has been twisted into a punchline, a stereotype, or a warning label. Because we, unfortunately, live in a world where systematic patriarchy trumps imperfect feminism.

But let's remember, feminism was never designed to shame us or divide us. It was meant to free us.

At its core, feminism is about choice. It's about trying and advocating for a world where no one is told who they should be and where women are on the same level in regard to social and economic position. To be able to create a world where women aren't forced to claw their way through the same room that some men can just waltz through.

You are not guilty for liking pink, for crying during movies, for posting OOTD pictures, or for dancing to Taylor Swift songs. You are also not guilty of not liking those things.

The feminist movement was created to include ALL women, not just the ones who fit a certain mold. That means having space for subtlety and strength, love and logic, aesthetics and action.

So, are you a guilty feminist? The answer is yes only if you believe that feminism is about perfection (it’s not). The real question is, do you agree and believe that women should have the freedom to choose the lives they want? If yes, guess what? You are a feminist, no guilt required.

So, the next time you find yourself saying, “I know that this isn't very feminist of me…” Stop. Instead, ask yourself, why do I feel the need to apologize for something that brings me happiness?

You don't have to be a perfect feminist, just a present one. Because feminism isn't about guilt. It’s about liberty.